When I went to my grandpa's viewing I was trying so hard to be strong. Not just for myself but for my mom too. It's been hard for me. It was hard for me when my grandma died and its hard this time with my grandpa.
My family knows I have a tattoo on my leg but I don't know if they know why I got it. No, I didn't get it because I wanted to be rebellious. I got it because I was having such a hard time with grandma dying. After 8 years with her gone it was too hard for me. So my way of dealing with the pain was getting a tattoo. It took me a while to figure out what I wanted to get. But after get it I felt so much better. I felt like she was telling me that it was alright. I felt some kind of closure. As weird as it sounds I felt better.
I wanted so bad to go up to Delta, UT for Lindsay's grandpa's funeral but other events were planned and I wouldn't have been back to take my girls to school. And I really would rather not drive by myself.
Bailey's great grandma's funeral is tomorrow and the only reason I am going is to be there for Bailey. She has been through enough heartache that I just need to be there for her. To show her that I will be there for her no matter what the situation. Yes, I know I'm not her biological mother but I need to be there for her.
On the up side, Natalie won her soccer game on Saturday. She is now playing in the championship game this coming Saturday. I don't know what time but it is at Desert Breeze Park. She has done so good this year we signed her up for next year. She seems to love it a lot. I hope this new found love of soccer lasts til at least high school.
Kylie is doing really good in school. She was having some problems with writing but I've worked with her at home and she's starting to write clearer. Now we need to teach her that not ever work is capitalized. She loves to read. I'm so happy for that. I have to fight with Natalie almost every night just to get her to read. We haven't quite found what Kylie really loves to do. Perhaps I should take her to gymnastics. That could be really fun for her.
Kenzi is so excited to start school next fall. Almost every morning she has asked me if Kylie is in second grade yet. She knows that when Kylie is in second grade than she'll be in Kindergarten. Ever since Natalie started school we've worked with Kylie and Kenzi with their letters and numbers. And when Kylie went to school I got to work more with Kenzi. She knows all her letters and sounds. She knows how to write them all. She knows how to write her name. She knows how to write her numbers and recognizes them. She is reading some of the Dr. Suess books. She is a really smart girl. Maybe too smart for her own good. She did tell me that she wanted to play soccer when she got in school. I'm not sure how well that will work out though. Especially if she gets hurt. We shall see when she actually starts school.
We've had some hard times lately but have gotten through them. Some faster than others but we get by. I'm still working on it. Thanks to my family for all the love and support. It really means a lot. I'm always here for you guys too.
1 comment:
death is one of the crazy things. i remember when my grandma (well, step grandma) and grandpa died within 1 month of each other. it was such a weird limbo time for me. it wasn't even that we talked all that much, but knowing that i couldn't call made it hard. hope you are doing ok!hey, we will be seeing you in just over a month! :) smiles about that :)
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